As you all well know, Austin and I are getting married in a short 5 or so weeks here. I think that the reality of adulthood is staring me in the face, spooking me out a bit... meaning jobs, insurance, rent, or finding an apartment to hold us, moving. I could continue, but I do not want to risk sounding full of self-pity. Don't get me wrong, I am so thrilled at the excitement of my upcoming marriage to the most wonderful man, and a new life together, but nobody really tells you how emotionally taxing this whole growing up thing is. At least, nobody warned this girl that I would be discovering new emotions of fear and trepidation (not quite, but I like the word...) as the uncertainty of life starts to creep in and make me shake in my boots.
It has been quite comical as I have rejoined my parents in their home for these last few months as a single woman. It started out as a plea to my mother to recongnize me as an adult, capable of making my own decisions about when I would like to do my laundry or clean my room... you know, things that moms tell their kids to do... but should be careful to give these instructions to their adult children. Now my saying, "Mom, I'm an adult" generates giggles, as all of us in the Richardson household can still tell that I am still holding onto Mom and Dad with a few pinky fingers... not quite ready to give up this state of dependence when it comes to dining out, shopping, or cooking meals... but I am admittedly ready to become an independent adult when I say "I'm an adult... (hello)?!?!"
I'm kinda that in that between stage, where one is not quite sure how to be an adult while they are living with their parents, but they so desperately want to be esteemed as one.
But anyway, Austin has been on a job hunt for several months now, and we haven't heard much yet. So as you may guess, my sense of security is somewhat lacking. I know that the Lord will provide something, and so many are good to remind me of that. But I would ask that you would pray that Austin would find something, and soon, as our wedding date is scooting up quickly!!!
To say the least, I love where my life is headed, and I'm thrilled to have Austin as my partner to share in all the uncertain adventures... But please, pass the tissues until it happens :)
6 comments:
Love you, Sissy. "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord..."
I know what ya mean, Elise. After seminary I moved back in with my parents while I looked for a job. It was really weird, it stressed me out since I was used to living on my own, and eating dinner whenever I felt like it, and going out without telling anyone when I planned to be home, etc. I love my parents, but I couldn't take it anymore, so I picked up and moved to Charleston.
Hey Kid: I know that it can get scary, but God is working right now on your behalf. You will look back at this time and be thankful for all He did. Hang in there. Love you, Dad
Change IS hard, but His grace is sufficient.
I'm certainly not the one to offer you any advice on dealing with the "getting overwhelmed and then crying" phenomenon. Austin, though, could call Andrew for some pointers :) I think Andrew's found ice cream to be the best solution in our house.
We love you two and are praying!
You are precious. :)
Miss you and am praying for the changes and transitions.
SO good to know that God is not surprised by where you're at or where you will be! :)
Love you and can't wait to see you so soon!
what a great post! you did a great job describing all those feelings. i feel the same way and i'm not getting married. i love you--i'm glad that you are and always will be my favorite security blanket. can't wait to see you in a few weeks!
liz
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