Learning time...

Sometimes I forget that I live in a poor city while I am here at school. Every time I go to the hospital to get info about my patient for the next moning in clinicals, I am surprised by all the run down houses that I pass on the way. I catch myself staring, and judging the people that I see near those houses that are ready to fall apart.

I know that God has called me to serve the poor and needy, but for some reason I judge them. A couple weeks ago, I had to go to a rescue mission as a requirement for a class to help serve dinner to destitute men. I sat across from one guy who had moved to the area to keep an eye on his cousin, or somebody from his family. I was frightened as he said, "She doesn't know what I look like, but I know what she looks like." (P.S. I didn't go alone to this mission... for those of you who may be concerned for my safety.) But what I realized after the fact was that this guy has serious needs, just like I do. I don't know him, but Jesus does and He loves this guy too. What makes me kind of wonder about myself is that if I am truly called to minister to poor people, why am I so uncomfortable around them? Because I don't really spend time with them.

Maybe I am just starting to see the poverty that is around me. I grew up in a place where I didn’t miss a meal, the house I lived in was warm and clean, and I always had what I needed and wanted. I didn't know what poor meant. I still don't think I do. I used to think that I would need to go to another country to see true poverty and need, but that opinion has changed. My negative reaction to the difference between me and that Joe in front of the shack may be me finally seeing what kind of poverty is right here, in the town around me, in the United States. I think that I need practice being with poor people, seeing them as people, and not as mistake-makers, underpriveledged, pity-producing kind.

Then my next question is what am I trying to do for them? I still haven't figured that out completely, but I think the basic idea is to love them.

Over Spring Break, Austin, Libby, Gabe and I encountered a homeless man on the corner near my dad's office. We gave him some change, and he followed us yelling after us, but we ignored him. As we walked back down to the car with my dad, I watched my dad approach this guy like he was a friend. Dad put his hand on the man's shoulder and talked like they were buddies.

Boy have I got a lot to learn.